INSOUCIANCE

VASVI’S VERDICT

The word insouciant comes from the French word ‘se soucier’ which means to care. So, after we add the negative prefix ‘in’ we can simply say that the word insouciant means not caring. Insouciance is a very important trait that helps us to define, interpret and elucidate someone’s personality. Now according to me this trait is perceived by people around the world in two ways.

They first way is that we consider this trait in the positive light where it is simply means that the person is casually carefree; the trait of having no strings attached to concerns, worries, troubles, anxieties etc. This is a good thing because with this attitude we tend to act towards what we want not considering hindrances like worries, anxieties and what not. Lack of concern does not necessarily signify lack of interest, it just means that it is not your priority and you have your eyes set for something else. Being insouciant does not mean you do not care about every aspect of your life. You can be selectively insouciant as well; where showing concern is not necessary, because sometimes if we care too much it might lead to self-destruction so we would rather not care. You can correlate it to acting nonchalantly.

     

The second way is that sometimes people perceive this trait in the negative way. This is the part where we think that possessing this trait means that we are acting rashly and without prudence. Well sometimes when we do not show concern about some factors we tend to ignore it and do not consider all the parameters and implications of our actions. So this might eventually lead to our own inconvenience as we act foolishly without taking any efforts or pain.

According to me insouciance is a very important trait and mostly a positive one if we take it casually. It is extremely important to which aspect of your life you are applying this trait to because sometimes if some part does require concern and you carelessly ignore it you end up hurting yourself. But there are times when caring can also lead to inconvenience so at that time it is better if we  stop showing concern and stay true to our insouciant character.

People generally tend to categorize this trait among youth. They also say that it is permitted for a “particular” age. But according to me people should not put any kind of age restrictions on this trait because you should be allowed to be casually care less whenever you want as long as it does not cause you any kind of inconvenience. There should not be any age criteria to deem this trait as inappropriate. This age categorization is generally done because the older generation confuse this casual and cheerful lack of concern (insouciance) with ennui or lassitude. If you are insouciant about people’s opinion,  that does not necessarily mean that you would not accept their advice or their criticism.

Being insouciant does not mean that you have a bad attitude towards life. It is completely okay to be insouciant. I perceive it as a positive trait because, we know best what is important for us and what is not. Deeming it appropriate or inappropriate for age groups is a wrong approach because if everybody understands the actual meaning of this trait and applies it positively the world would be a better place. Being insouciant is good as long as it does not change apathy. Insouciance is very important because we need to live our life as per our priorities and not caring (casually) about the stuff that is not important to us.

“If you live life for people’s acceptance you will die from their rejection.”

-Lecrae

FRIENDSHIP

MAINTAINING FRIENDSHIP OVER BARRIERS

“I believe that two people are connected at the heart, and it doesn’t matter what you do, or who you are or where you live; there are no boundaries or barriers if two people are destined to be together.”

– Julia Roberts

Well even if we look at this thought from a friendship point of view it actually holds true. If you are to remain friends with someone it does not matter how far you live or where you live, it does not matter how often you talk; all that matters is that there is still that same trust and no matter what, you can count on each other. Let’s face the fact that everybody has a mask on and you put it down only in front of the people you trust. As we grow old some relations change some of us grow apart but there are some that we hold onto and never wish to let go because they are our close friends. Sometimes we might become distant to our close friends because of some circumstances but we tend to find our way back to them over a period of time. No matter how long it has been or how far apart you live but when you meet again or talk on weekends over the phone or Skype to get the week’s updates you act the same way you did before, no filters on your words and no mask needed for the crazy facial expressions because it is impossible to describe the whole lot of drama that you have to catch up on with a straight face. Friends are supposed to be crazy and weird but not with everyone; weird conversations and crazy ideas for fun don’t change; just the ideas improve with time, but don’t let that maturity take the friendship away.

And barriers in a friendship do not necessarily mean time and distance but also a fight or a misunderstanding or simply the inability to put your thoughts forward. When you are friends things like distance and time don’t matter; agreed that you might meet not as regularly as you used to owing to the tight schedules but you can surely take out sometime to catch up with your friends over the weekend or fortnightly…it does not matter how often you talk or meet all that matters is that whenever you talk it makes you happy and you can laugh your heart out or share your worries and insecurities or cry to your heart’s content or simply just talk about random stuff. This does not mean that you do not stay in touch with your friends thinking that it’s going to be the same when we meet, but once in a while a small (or a long) conversation can really make you feel nostalgic, in a nice way(in most of the cases). Sometimes someone miles away is closer to you than someone you see daily. But there are some really close and true friends right next to you but here the barriers can be some kind of a misunderstanding or something you really did wrong, it is all about apologizing if you are wrong or just settle it out by hugging them tight.

And if there are any misunderstandings or fights they can be sorted out once the heat cools down. People generally tend to say the things that they later regret whenever they are angry. So wait till things cool down and then clear out the confusion or apologize; just don’t let anger ruin the relation. Ego can also be a big barrier; ego as perceived these days is not just all negative there is also a positive side to it; it is all about how you channel it. If that ego is ruining your relation then it is a worst thing because if you really consider that person your friend then you would not let the negative side of ego ruin everything and if you cannot control your ego then you are weak and it is entirely your fault. Yes if things go wrong you can take your time to recuperate but keep that friendship (if true don’t end up playing naïve) above all the barriers. Don’t give up on those amazingly crazy, trustworthy, non-judgemental and loving friends “our chosen family” just because of some barriers. Because the biggest obstacles in our lives are the barriers our mind creates……….

“It is the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected.”

                                                                                                                     ― Charles Lamb

FRIENDSHIP :)

INTRODUCTION

“The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing… not healing, not curing… that is a friend who cares.”

-Henri Nouwen

Friendship is one of the most simple yet most complex relationships a person can share with another person. The reason it is simple is because it is feeling comfortable in your own skin without any kind of worrying and pretending because your friends love you just the way you are. Then again, contradicting our statement, it is the most complex when things tend to get messed up between friends. If you really thought of someone as your friend but you end up disappointed then just learn from your mistakes and if something like this happens then learn to accept that it was never true friendship. Aside from the complications, friendship is an utterly beautiful relationship that brings immense happiness to everyone. Friends are our backbones. They tend to become the people you can’t function without-the partners in crime during adolescence and the confiders during adulthood. Before that, life is much more simple- share your toys and you’ve found yourself a best friend!

Nobody likes to stay lonely. It always feels secure to know that there are certain people who will believe in you even when the others will not. Friendship is mainly based on the trust. All friendships are different; you cannot compare them, they are simply unique. Being friends is not only about having awesome adventures together but also being a part of each other’s misadventures. Friends are packets of fun as well as your shoulder to cry on as you are for them. And friendship is not just superficial fun but it should also be honest and having each other’s back. True friends will never hide your mistakes but will rather help you correct them.

Each individual has a different personality. As in, each one is weird in their different way. We meet random people who are equally weird and do weird things together and simply call them ” friends “I mean yes, we all have this gang of people in our lives with who we can be truly ourselves and do crazy things with. We know they will not judge us but will join us instead .Who cares what others think? You are never too old to do anything with your friends. The thing about friends is you don’t need a certain number of friends in your life, you just need those who you can be certain of. It does not matter whether you have many friends or a few. It all depends how you define your world around them. With every little change in your life a cycle of changes start; you become more busy, but always make time for your friends because if they really love you like you love them then you will always remember the awesome parties, dinners, gatherings, sleepovers and you will also remember that they gave you hope and made you smile when you were crying.

Being best friends is not about being inseparable, but even when you are separated nothing changes. You can trust them with your secrets, hurt them with the truth, protect them from anything bad and comfort them when they need you the most. They come to know what you think without you telling them. They are the ones who know everything about you and know you better than anyone else. One simple look at each other and everything is automatically understood! Just a small talk with your best friend is sometimes all that you need. It makes you feel light hearted. As much as they support you, they will not leave a single chance to pull your leg; when you fall, they will first laugh their stomachs off and then pick you up, they’ll post embarrassing pictures of you without even telling you, irritate you by singing horrible songs until you join them, and eat all the pizza from your plate. They are the people who you meet every day and spend most of the time of you day with and do everything together: dance together, laugh together, bitch together, shop together. Friendship is all about cherishing the best and accepting the worst of each other.

There are also these certain distant friends who you cannot meet every day. But the friends that you see after months and they still make you realise that nothing has changed are the realest ones. There are no ground rules in friendship; it is all about going along with the flow.

The day a friend judges you, you can realise the emptiness of that relationship. Making friends is important, but making the right kind of friends is the most important. True friends cannot solve all your problems, but they will surely make you realise that there is always a solution. They are the ones with whom you can have the silliest conversations and laugh and you know that you will never be judged. And if they considers you a friend they would do the same, there is no stopping to countless awesome and awful memories with just one thing in common that the surroundings have not bothered your friendship. Though true friends can shield you from the toughest of adversities, false friends can end up causing more hassles for you than you need. So, learn how to understand and read people and also, once you get the right person in your life, don’t let that kind of friend go because that is your true wealth in life.

“I would rather walk with a friend in the dark than alone in the light”
– Helen Keller