FRIENDSHIP

FIGHT WITH A FRIEND

Mitali’s Madness

“We call that person who has lost his father, an orphan; and a widower that man who has lost his wife. But that man who has known the immense unhappiness of losing a friend, by what name do we call him? Here every language is silent and holds its peace in impotence.” –Joseph Roux

Friendship is one of the few relationships in life where we get to decide our relatives. We choose our friends for reasons as simple as similar tastes or even similar dislikes. But, when that same friend hurts us, knowingly or unknowingly, it raises a question on our judgement. Let’s get one fact right- people don’t fight with friends over ego. Ego never has had, or never will have any place in between friends. Fights happen over miscommunications or difference of opinions, not over ego.

A friend is someone who we place immense trust in. Reasons for fighting with your friend are usually very simple but the surrounding events just tend to make it complex. People fight when their views don’t match. But in this fight, both parties, who know each other so well need to put their life in perspective and see who is wrong. A friend is one of the only people in front of whom there is never any shame to apologize. Who said friends don’t need to say sorry? In fact, they need to say it the most! I say this because a friend is someone who can push you to your ultimate limits and sometimes, when they cross this limit, a heartfelt apology is all it takes.

Personally, up until recently, I didn’t believe in fighting with my friends (not the serious kind of fights at least). I used to let it go. People broke my trust but I looked at my common friends and other priorities and I always let it go. If anything, I’d get angry at my friend for a day or a week at most but not more. Then I realised something that I told you earlier on. We need to see who the wrong party is eventually. How long should you, and more importantly why should you let it go? A friend who can insult you is not the correct kind of friend you need in your life. Friends are meant to pull each other’s legs. That’s how, unknowingly, we become strong against anyone else’s comments and can defend ourselves. But friends will never pull your leg on the topic they know you are genuinely sensitive about. If they do that, then you need an apology. People think it works differently for boys and girls, but, the truth of the matter is, that it doesn’t matter who hurt whom, use any permutation combination but an apology is what can make things right. Sure, it may not solve your problems in one go, but it shows your friend that the person they had chosen was not a wrong choice. It’s a step towards making it all better.

A friendship can never be over unless you let it be. Also, fighting is never EVER meant to be physical. If there’s a problem, it can always be sorted with talking. Before you get the thought of harming your friend over what may even be the biggest issue of your life, just think about one thing- a day before this moment, you’d have given your life for this very friend. Everything in life should be done at the right place and the right time, but with your friend, there is no time like the present. If your fight is fresh though, cool off some steam and then go sort it out. “An angry mind is a narrow mind”, remember?
Also, I do believe that as far as you can, avoid letting your fight get to the point from where there’s nothing to turn back to. Friends are our lifeline. They keep us sanely insane! Friends are those siblings, those confidantes that God forgot to relate to us by blood. So, see where you stand in your fight and if you are the wrong one, get your life into some introspect and do the right thing. As easy as it is to fight with your friend, it’s easier to patch up with them 🙂