LOSS OF A LOVED ONE
Pritha’s Perspective
Gregarious nature is a well-defined characteristic of human beings. We attach ourselves to the people around us and share a bond of affection with them .Their care for us and their importance in our lives is what matters to us .Our family and friends are those people who we live our lives with and around whom our world revolves. Hence, when that bond suddenly breaks or when we lose them, we feel like a part of us went missing and that is why losing someone has never felt good.
Losing someone does not only mean losing them to death. There are times when priorities and situations compel one to make choices where they have to leave their surrounding- families, friends, etc and go somewhere else. There they create their completely new world with different people around them, but it eventually makes them distant from their own people. Certain people simply lose contact because they get busy in their own world with their respective work. Forgetting someone with whom you have spent amazing days of your life; that person having played an important part in contributing for your personality, and who you consider to be an inspiration is not easy. Every time you pass from a hangout spot or every time you sit listening to a particular song or come across old pictures it will make you sad about not having them around you and not able to keep things the way they were. But sometimes the distance ultimately grows so much that you cannot have things the same as they were a long time ago. Their absence bothers you, but sadly, nothing can be done about it.
Life has its own twists and turns and it has always had a habit of gifting us surprises-both good and bad when we least expect it. In a blink of an eye, it will either give you everything you ever wanted or take away everything you ever had; taking away the people you loved and leaving behind a galore of memories. Those memories are then the only treasure you are left with. Nothing can be really said because you never know how life starts and ends and no one will ever be able to imagine what will happen to them if they lost the people they loved and cared about the most.
It is only after you lose someone when you realise their worth and what they actually meant to you but, by the time we do, they already go far beyond reach. But, at the end of the day, moving beyond the pain of losing someone you loved is important as well. Our lives should not stop because we lost someone. I don’t mean to say that they should be forgotten or their memories be erased from our minds. Watching somebody very close leave you is the hardest feeling that one could overcome. Certain people can never be substituted. Their memories will always make us feel that they are around us and there will always be a blank space that they left in our lives. It is hard, but we slowly learn to live without them.
Vasvi’s Verdict
Everyone has truly loved and cared for someone or some people in their life. Be it your parents, grandparents, spouse, partner, friends, siblings, pets, etc. If not a lot of people, then probably two or three, or even one single person or pet, you do truly care for someone. But, when you lose that person (or pet or anything you loved, here I will be giving the reference as person only, to avoid iterating the whole thing again) it creates a void in your life, you feel as if the world around you has crumbled. Losing someone you loved so much can be heart-breaking, and surviving that loss is the difficult part.
Well if it is someone you have known all your life like your parents, anyone close to you from your family, or a childhood friend or your neighbour, whom you have become close to over the span, has a huge impact on you because they have seen you grow up. They have a part to play in your growing years and in forming your personality. Thus you have a lot of memories. And even if it is someone you have known for a short period of time and have learnt to love and trust them, they become an integral part of your life. For me all the people that I truly love and care for are different parts of my life and very important to me. Losing one of them can be devastating.
The memories shared still linger, the promises that were broken, the mistakes that were made, the care, love and forgiveness that existed, the dreams that never happened, all the good and bad that happened, I remember everything. While that person is alive learn to love and care and yeah have loads of fun, creating a ton of memories but when you lose that person do not forget them because if you do you never truly loved them; miss them, but do not live in the past and don’t surround yourself with negativity. Rather, remember that this is not the end- there are other people that love you and give them some justice for trying to make you smile. I know it is easy for me to say, a loss of life is a sad thing especially for the people who loved and cared about that person but always remember that you had shared good and bad memories and they all taught you that always move ahead in your life, feel the sorrow but don’t let it stop your circle of life. Always remember and love that person and remember that he/she/it would like to see you smiling and not regretting. It’s like you loved them every day and now you miss them. Never let the love and memories die but do not kill yourself on the inside. All seems simple in words and difficult to practice I agree but that is what life is all about (God forbid it should not happen to anyone, but we cannot stop the cycle of life). Love and value what you have now rather than regretting later because the greatest loss is losing a loved one and not being able to recover from that sorrow. Don’t let it consume you; make their memories your strength.
Mitali’s Madness
“It’s going to be okay”, they say. Or, “time is a great healer”. Although all this is true, eventually, that day, that moment when it strikes you that a life has just ended, your entire life with your loved ones and the moments that you have spent with that person flash by you and that feeling cannot be put into words.
Loss of a loved one- be it anyone- a parent, friend, spouse, sibling or even an acquaintance gets our life into retrospective. I have never lost a loved one- at least not when I was of an understanding age- so, somewhere it might be that my perspective differs with others who have gone through such a time of peril.
Merely thinking about such a thing makes me shudder. Can you imagine losing a parent, someone who has assumed the responsibility of all the pleasures and the sorrows of your life that not having them around seems utterly frightening and unthinkable! Can you imagine losing a sibling with whom you have had endless petty fights but making up after them has never been more fun with anyone else? Can you imagine losing a friend with who lay your deepest secrets and your brightest memories? Or worse, rather than actually imagining all this, have you had to go through it?
When people see old age approaching, somewhere, in some corner of their minds you can see the acceptance that death might knock on their door next. But, when someone dies young, the shock of that death is usually more consuming than the sorrow. All the plans left unfinished; being almost there but not really.
This thought, of losing a loved one comes to my mind often. It occurs when we see a movie, and tears well up into our eyes; or when I hear my father reading some distant relative’s obituary in the paper. When it does strike, in a flash, it hurts my soul.
That is the moment when you realise the true meaning of human life- at that time no fights or cultural differences matter- just the memories do. According to me, for anyone who has lost someone dear to them, they do need time to recover, to grieve. But, the most important part of that recovery is to celebrate a life well-lived rather than go under depression and scar that person’s memory.
If you have lost someone close to you and are reading this, I truly am sorry for your loss. I wish there was something I could do but we all know the truth here. If, however, you want to share with us, the glorious life that was lived and that managed to influence your life somehow, do post it in the comments below. We’d love to know. If, however, you have been as lucky as me and still have all your loved ones around, make sure they know how appreciated they are for being a part of your life! Just a small gesture can mean the world to them. Tell someone how much you care about them and that would show how much you appreciate their presence in your life. So go, don’t do it ‘soon’, tell them TODAY! Don’t waste time; it is a short life after all.
4oddonesout 